非暴力沟通

词汇

• 非暴力沟通non-violent communication (NVC)
• 观察observation (vs. evaluation)
• 感受feelings / emotional experience
• 需求needs
• 请求request (not demand)
• 批判criticism / to judge
• 指责to blame / accusation
• 倾听to listen attentively
• 表达需求to express one needs
• 同理心empathy / compassion

表达

• 当你……的时候，我感到……When you…, I feel… — the foundational NVC template connecting another person behavior to your own emotional response
• 因为我需要……Because I need… — links your feeling to an unmet need, the core of NVC
• 你能……吗？Could you… ? — formulates a polite, specific request rather than a demand, leaving room for the other person to choose
• 我感到不受重视I feel undervalued / not respected — 不受重视 literally means not receiving valued treatment, an I-message
• 当我看到……的时候When I see / notice… — the observation opener in NVC, stating facts without judgment
• 我希望我们能好好谈谈I hope we can have a good talk — a gentle, non-threatening way to initiate a difficult conversation

常见错误

• ✗你总是不听我说话。
  ✓当你没有回应我的时候，我感到失落。

  In NVC, avoid 总是 (always) which is an absolute accusation. Rephrase using the observation-feeling template: state a specific behavior you observed, then express your feeling

• ✗我希望你改变你的行为。
  ✓你能在我说话的时候给予我一些回应吗？

  Vague requests like 改变行为 are not actionable. NVC requires specific, present-tense requests. Use 你能…吗 with a concrete, doable action

• ✗我请求你不要这样做。
  ✓你能……吗？

  NVC requests should be phrased positively (what you want) rather than negatively (what you don not want). Replace 不要 with a specific positive alternative

小测验